Lesson's with Eli

February 2, 2012

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Trusting God's plan is something that I've always struggled with. I know He has a plan and I know it's more than I could ever imagine. It's more of an impatience thing on my end. From a young age I've had the "movie" of my life playing out in my head. I've always known what I wanted life to look like and I've planned accordingly. In college, my good friend Ginny taught me that God's plans are like walking with a lantern. You can see only slightly ahead of you, but not the whole path. The rest you have to leave in God's hands and know that He's paved the way. Now, Brandon is constantly reminding me that God has a plan and everything will happen as it should. There are times when he's so trusting in God's plan that it drives me nuts. But I know it's only because he's right. My life has rarely gone along with my plan and it's always turned out better than what I've had in mind.

Here I am sitting on the floor, at 2:15 a.m., next to my son's favorite spot in the whole house- the makeshift changing table on the bench at the foot of our bed. After 2 hours of trying to convince him that the cozy bassinet (which came with soothing vibrations and sounds) would be more comfortable. Or the awesome baby fort I made for him on Brandon's side of the bed would work for sleep. I know that allowing your infant to sleep in the bed with you is sometimes frowned upon, but I also know the motto of a few of my mom friends is "Do what you gotta do". Don't worry- Eli refused the baby fort, along with his bassinet, his swing, play gym, or anything else I thoughtfully picked out for him. My plans to make him comfortable with all these things has gone by the wayside. So I've decided to give in and sit here vigilantly, my hand is resting lightly on his chest to make sure he doesn't decide to topple over, and listen to his little baby noises expressing delight, interest, and contentment with watching the shadows on the ceiling.

As I sit here I begin to realize the lesson my son is teaching me. It's the same thing that Ginny, Brandon, and so many other in my life have. He's teaching me that I can't plan for everything, because those plans will not always work. That the best plan I can have is to trust God's plan, and know that He is here next to us making sure we don't topple over.

Touche, Eli. Thanks for the lesson.